Joe Lawler: A bacon rebuttal because bacon is awesome

Joe Lawler: A bacon rebuttal because bacon is awesome

I can appreciate the esteemed Josh Hafner’s opinion in light of the recent news about a bacon-dedicated restaurant, Jethro’s BBQ n’ Bacon Bacon, opening, but I have to disagree. Because bacon is awesome.

I know Josh’s issue isn’t really with bacon, but with the bacon hysteria that fills the internet and has congealed into real life like so much plaque in our collective arteries. But I need to provide some context.

RELATED: Why Iowa’s bacon fetish must end

As a bacon fan, there was a dark ages that I like to refer to as “The 1990s.” If you liked bacon, there was breakfast and then there was the occasional bacon cheeseburger at restaurants. At the time, that was an exotic use of bacon in food. And if you wanted bacon on your burger at a fast food place, you could forget it. McDonalds had bacon on its breakfast menu, but it seemed to take forever for them to figure out that people might like to consume it during the rest of the day.

These days bacon is everywhere, and I’m sure I’ve done my part to contribute to that thanks to my annual coverage of the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival. Yes, some people take it too far, but some of us suffered in silence for years ordering macaroni, burgers and cheesy fries without crispy pork belly on it.

I will not go back to that hell. I would burn this world to the ground before I let that happen. Yes, it means putting up with some stupid bacon novelties and t-shirts and the some really bad ideas. But who cares, as long as it gets me more bacon?

There have been missteps along the way. No one wants bacon-flavored gum or mints. Bacon lube could be enough to put you off bacon and sex. But we can’t soar to the baconiest of heights without a few crashes.

Plus, how about a little more perspective. Bacon isn’t even the most over-hyped breakfast item. There’s one that has dedicated shops on nearly every corner, is provided free in almost every office and is available in some insane flavors. Coffee fanaticism trumps that of bacon for sure. Call me when people are harvesting bacon out of weasel poop.

I’ve never delayed someone because “I just need to fry up some bacon real quick,” but I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve sat while a friend brewed a pot of coffee, spent forever mixing in coffee and milk, sniffing and sipping before deciding they had found the right balance. Meanwhile, it’s now 8 p.m. because OMG COFFEE TAKES FOREVER.

In closing, bacon rules. Some boundaries may have been crossed in the massive expansion, but things will even out eventually. And it is here to stay. Just let us have this and I won’t make fun of the caffeinated hot chocolate you call coffee anymore.

About the Author

Joe Lawler covers music and more for Juice Magazine. E-mail him at or follow his updates on Twitter @JoeLawler

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